What does it mean to dream of memories we never had? Creating a reality through an imagination inspired by the world around us? To dream of fulfilling a life long goal? And to dream of something tangible? Something we know to exist but have never seen for ourselves? These are some of the thoughts I had going through my mind when fulfilling a generational life long goal as I traveled out to the Rocky Mountains in Colorado.

This generational goal passed to me from my dad after he passed of early onset Alzheimer’s at the age of 55 in 2018. He spoke of one day going big game hunting out west all my life to Colorado, Alaska, Wyoming (while also seeing Yellowstone of course) and even visiting Yosemite. He was an avid outdoorsman all his life and lived for the outdoors. This dream become an increasingly distant reality as the 2008 recession affected him greatly, leaving him in near financial ruin. As the stress mounted, so did his descent into Alzheimer’s. However, the dream remained strong. Even after he lost his job from his decreasing ability to work efficiently (losing his employment tied health insurance in the process), the dream remained. When he had to move in with family to survive he still talked about getting back up on his feet and making it out west. When I visited him in STL while home from college, he would continue talking about going out west with myself and brother.

Not too long after he soon lost his ability to drive, then after that he slowly lost his ability to speak in full coherent sentences. While his cognitive ability faded, he still had “The Dream”. Meanwhile, one of those days I was visiting him at our family’s place, I turned on a nature show featuring what we both identified as the “western aesthetic.” I kept it on the show because there wasn’t much else to do. It was during this moment, my dad had a moment of lucidity and pepped up. Then he looked at me. I knew then “The Dream” continued on within him. Unfortunately, it was also at this moment I realized he would never make it out west…and so did he. He had tears in eyes. First time I ever saw him cry, and it would not be the last.

“The Dream” was passed on at that moment to me but I knew looking at him, looking at the show, he would continue to have dreams of seeing the west even while he never saw it with his own eyes. I wondered even then, how dreams can influence our memories. Even as his mind faded , he still had “The Dream”. I like to believe this became his reality. In that reality, myself and brother were somehow involved and he saw everything he always envisioned.

In my time out west, I imagined a reality that doesn't exist. A dream never realized with fleeting memories of things that are simultaneously familiar and unrecognizable. Much like visuals can be when we both imagine/think of things while awake, and dream while we sleep. These composition of images reflect a dreamlike quality and how our memories can influence and blur what we experienced (or conjure ones that never occurred). The images were created by utilizing multiple exposures within camera. In this essence, the creation of the images is not unlike the dreams and memories we make. I imagine through these images what could have been with my Dad, and what he might have envisioned if he ever visited out west., and what he might have envisioned towards the end in his mental prison.

In the path we walk, we can envision things that are, never were, and what we hope to see. Its in this perspective we can find anguish, or inner peace. As I continue to create more images, a new ethereal world is created where all has been made possible. Because the “The Dream” never died. My dad, and me, are both living it.

If you have made it this far. Thank you.

Yellowstone coming in 2026.